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2021.10.16 07:20 Far-Procedure8604 Need help with Dad issues
Dad is always cranky…What can I do?
Hi. A few details: I am 17 year old female. My father is 61 and my mom is 52. I am the only child of my mom and have been the only child of the house since the age of 8. (My dad was married before and had a child. My sister is 30 and living in NY with my BIL.)
I would also like to add a disclaimer: My dad has never been violent. I don’t think he has ever been in a fight in his life. He could hurt a fly when worked up but he has never ever come close in any way to hurting my mom, my sister, or myself. This is not an issue of abuse. This is also not an issue of addiction. My parents have never drank much and 3 years ago my mom decided to go sober. Meaning my dad rarely drinks, only when he occasionally goes out of a buddy or drinks a beer on a Saturday while watching football.
With all of that aside…the issue is, my dad is always cranky. He will get himself worked up in the snap of your fingers over absolutely nothing. And I hate to use this term because he has never been abusive, but he is becoming toxic. You can feel the energy around him. And unfortunately for myself, I usually end up absorbing it in a way. I have always been close with my mom. She is my best friend. And she sees/feels it too. (It’s not just a me and him problem) They have been married for 21 years, and bottom line he wasn’t like this when they got married.
My dad was the class clown. He was spontaneous. He was goofy. He was a theater kid. He led the pep rally’s at his large SEC college. He had a upper middle class childhood, so growing up he never really struggled for anything. After he got divorced from his first wife he was in a deep depression. My mom helped him out of it. And my whole childhood and adolescence, that’s how I knew him. The funny dad who always talked to my friends like they were adults, in the best way. The dad who would dress up in an obnoxious costume to make me and all the neighborhood kids laugh, pull up my tights for me before ballet class, and wasn’t afraid to cry in front of me while watching a movie. But over the past three years he has changed. He isn’t carefree. Anything provokes him. The little digs I take at him, the kind of thing he taught me to do, go straight to the heart. And at this point, I have discussed with him many times that it is all a joke, that I love and respect him as my father, and that’s how I show my love. And I’ll dish it out and take it back. He can’t take it. But he can dish it out. And not in a funny way. He is constantly correcting my mom and I. It’s gotten to the point where my mom is sometimes afraid to say something because he will correct her so much. He is always right. And if you end up right he must leave the conversation to go fact check everything you said. And if you were wrong about anything you will get a link to an article proving it. He is always on his iPad playing puzzle games. He is on his devices more than me, a 17 year old girl. If you are talking to him he will often times completely ignore you. He will also just walk away while you are talking. My mom and I have both had private discussions, multiple times, about this with him and nothing has changed. And now sometimes I won’t say what’s on my mind or a thought I had or a story I wanted to tell because I don’t feel worthy enough to be listened to.
We have always been open about mental health. I have been diagnosed with anxiety and depression and my mom has as well. We both take anti anxiety medication. I take ADHD medication. We are both very happy and healthy now. We never noticed this behavior until we got healthy. Early on, my mom would mention that this medication made us feel better and if he wasn’t feeling like himself maybe he should talk to our doctor about it, see if it may help. He would say “I won’t take medication because I’m not crazy.” This doesn’t match him at all. He is very mental health positive, believes in therapy, etc.
He gets so angry that sometimes I get scared of him. My mom gets scared of him. The dogs get scared of him. We have tried to help but have no idea what to do now. I know he would never hurt us, it never even crossed my mind, so I don’t know why I get scared, but I do. We try to walk on eggshells but I inherited his stubbornness and am over it. Sometimes I poke the bear, which is preventable, but it mostly comes out of nowhere. I am willing to change in positive ways, overtime I have learned to think before I speak, not jump to correct, etc, but I do because they are positive. And I know these are a part of growing up, and something everyone has to learn. I don’t want to make this about myself but I see it beginning to affect the things I love about myself; my outgoingness, positivity, etc. And I am not willing to change myself for his attitude. I see it changing my mom in the same ways. At this point we don’t know what to do. I love him so much that I want to help him and I know my mom feels the same way, but we are so close to giving up. With how he is acting now it’s hard sometimes to see our relationship in the future. I know that this is something that comes with age but this feels too early. He doesn’t act 60 in any other way.
I want to reiterate that I don’t want to make this about myself, I am here to try and get advice on how to help my dad. But I wanted to show how his behavior is affecting others.
What can we/me/my mom do to help?
(Thank you for reading, I know that was long.)
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2021.10.16 07:20 WD_Gaster- A possible Pursuit? (Oc)
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2021.10.16 07:20 benperon let's play? If you don't tell, she don't tell 😈
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2021.10.16 07:20 swagNextTuber Hannity: 'Vile' Joe Biden is proving 'morally bankrupt'
2021.10.16 07:20 Who_farteded Really???
2021.10.16 07:20 CuppaJeaux Reasons for foul-smelling urine in dog negative for UTI?
Hi. Our dog is a 5 yo neutered American Bully being treated with chlorambucil for lymphoma. Also positive for MCTs, and a sarcoma on his prepuce, but those are static for the moment; no treatment but no worsening or growth. He weighs 63 pounds.
Since before we adopted him he has had periods of dribbling of incredibly foul-smelling urine. It smells like straight ammonia and it scalds his skin. He drinks a lot of water, eats Victor Hi-Pro Plus kibble and gets his meds in Orijen grass-fed freeze-dried lamb treats. That’s all he consumes, no human food.
In addition to the chlorambucil he takes Benadryl TID for the mast cell tumors and Gabapentin for a knee injury (likely caused by steroid treatment, we were told).
He was treated twice with antibiotics but it hasn’t helped. He still dribbles, and it smells fouler than ever. We keep him in a diaper when he is inside the house, which is most of the time. His snap-in pad is changed three times a day and the diaper is changed daily. He recently was prescribed a cream for the urine scalding.
I don’t know if this is relevant, but he was bred by backyard breeders and seized by police in a raid (then turned over to animal control, then to a rescue organization from where we adopted him) and has some “flaws,” according to breeders. His tail is cropped, kinked, and to the left of his anus. It is very sensitive, so we are very careful not to touch it. It seems to cause low back pain if touched. I’m mentioning this in case it might have something to do with his kidneys or something.
Is there anything that comes to mind that could be causing this? Thanks so much for your help.
submitted by CuppaJeaux to vet [link] [comments]
2021.10.16 07:20 Ok-Bet-7824 Here are the phases of zach. (Original by U/kaiuook)
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2021.10.16 07:20 swagNextTuber Bret Baier presses Transportation Secretary Buttigieg on supply chain woes
2021.10.16 07:20 swagNextTuber Carlos Correa's monster home run lifts Astros to win in ALCS Game 1
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2021.10.16 07:20 penmaster3000 I put and KOF'95 interview through Google Translate and found this.
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submitted by Full-Fuel9074 to SatoshiBets [link] [comments]
2021.10.16 07:20 xraspux Trying to find japanese horri
2021.10.16 07:20 cursedpotential85 Netplan and Static IPs
Why does netplan not work to configure a static ip? Where is the network config even at?? Yes i know i can do it through the gui. I did, that not my point. For mostly the help of it and for educational purposes i like being able to do it from the terminal.
submitted by cursedpotential85 to pop_os [link] [comments]
2021.10.16 07:20 Takksuru I (17M) want to ask a "special needs" guy (17M) out on a date...Advice?
Hey, there. Are you doing all right? My post-thingy is below:
I (17M) want to ask out a cute (but, oblivious) guy (17M) that I have become acquainted with. He's so cute <3. However, there is one "issue". I'm pretty sure that he is intellectually disabled (possibly autism, ADHD, etc.). He takes special education classes at my school that are specifically built for students who have difficulties remembering academic material...
To me, it's inconsequential that he's "special needs"; I just like him because of his personality :). I just want to make sure that he and I are able to communicate well with one another, because, honestly, I have the [redacted]-est communication skills when it comes to interpersonal, "defining our relationship" stuff.
I really, really like this guy and want to be able to cuddle with him someday and tell him that he's so amazing, but I want to make sure that I'm respecting his boundaries and taking things slow. I know I'm young, but I want a meaningful relationship. I've been doing a good amount of introspection/self-improvement and I think we'd be good for each other. :) (I love him so much...)
How do I ask for his number or social media? Should I ask just him out? If so, how and where and when?? How can I gain better interpersonal skills so that we can talk about defining our relationship/my desires later on? Or...should I just tell myself to stop being in love with him..? I'm feeling so anxious and intimidated by this...
What sub(s) can help me out?
submitted by Takksuru to findareddit [link] [comments]
2021.10.16 07:20 Prakyy Bug w/ Advanced Optimus
Guys this is my first time having an nvidia card and I've already run into quite a few issues. Biggest one being that advanced optimus doesn't turn off the GPU when I'm done using it.
Switching to standard optimus in the control panel, the gpu turns off after I'm done playing a game but when auto-select (advanced optimus) is selected the gpu continues to draw 10-15w in the background quite some time after it's not being used which cuts my battery in half.
The only way to get it to turn off is by disabling and re-enabling the gpu in device manager.
How do I bring this issue to Nvidia's attention and get it fixed?
submitted by Prakyy to nvidia [link] [comments]
2021.10.16 07:20 swagNextTuber Pentagon offers payment to Afghanistan family's survivors after botched US airstrike
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2021.10.16 07:20 BrighterButch 你在哪里做梦？
2021.10.16 07:20 Specialist-Look6210 Low effort mist noble meme day 8 of 365
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2021.10.16 07:20 winxria What are some fictional characters everyone seems to love that you just can't see the hype for?
2021.10.16 07:20 dem_bwabies Come play with us
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2021.10.16 07:20 _Pickelbot_ balls
2021.10.16 07:20 xTrichomess I hope they add a new game plus, this game is too easy
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2021.10.16 07:20 maguiars Is there a reason i cant choose ereader prestigio TTS as my preferred engine? I paid for the wavenet TTS from prestigio. It works on my phone but i cant select and save it on bluestacks. Other TTS engines work fine on the emulator.
2021.10.16 07:20 MadeByHideoForHideo Not many people have experienced how it feels to stop an ongoing pee.
2021.10.16 07:20 Pitiful-Seesaw-1407 .
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