Rehab ruined my life

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2021.10.16 07:41 Diligent_Phase_2989 Rehab ruined my life

I spend everyday fighting memories of the rehabs (yep, 2 in a row, one was a straight up cult) I was recently at. My life is a mess now. I am either angry, sad, or remembering all of the lies I internalized, all of the hidden motives, all of the manipulation, constant gaslighting, the stigma that even most doctors believe. It makes me fucking sick and it pisses me off that my own psychiatrist would sit there smile and nod, agree with me and give me my psych meds, only to lie and have me do a bunch of bullshit for them (guardianship that just didn't exist) to turn around and say they wouldn't prescribe a specific medication (Adderall), even though I was literally just on it after rehab because "I've had a previous substance abuse disorder." The worst part is, they were all secretive about it and even lied in my charting. I'm so fucking over this trauma from rehab, my psychiatrist is marginalizing me and straight up lying to my face. I don't feel like my parents understand what I truly went through and that they will never really believe me, so I just sit, confused, sad and scared by the whole experience. I can't focus on anything else, nothing is enjoyable anymore, it feels like everyone wants to take advantage of me, lie, or believe a convenient lie and I feel so alone. I'm afraid to ever trust a "therapist" again. The worst part is, I want to go to school to fucking become one. My life now man...
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2021.10.16 07:41 lisalim169 [O-level] My experience in improving my O-level grades from 20+ to 11 nett!

Hey guys! If you're here, you're probably trying to find a way to improve your O's right? There's still hope! Keep reading... you're about to read my entire year's journey in 5 minutes!
My grades in January
CHINESE: 50/100 (Somehow I always miraculously pass every exam)
COMBINED SCIENCE (CHEM/BIO): Failing horribly
AMATH: Failed at single digits ;/
EMATH: B4, but not improving
CORE GEOGRAPHY: A2
ELECTIVE LITERATURE: B3
SOCIAL STUDIES: B3
ENGLISH: A2-B3
Planning a game plan
So it was the start of the year, and I knew I had to take critical action for my worst subjects - A-math, combined biology and combined chemistry. It wouldn't be long before these enemies came knocking on my door, so I had to act fast.
The first thing that I faced was my absolute lack of time management, from years of laziness and last minute procrastination. So I got a planner! Having (and planning) a planner does take up time, but I swear its worth it. What you should do right now is buy a CHEAP planner, preferably a weekly planner for beginners, that you won't mind messing it up a little.
Firstly, list down all your subjects on a piece of paper and write down every single chapter. Then, give 1 tick beside each chapter using this guide (1 tick: Just need to revise; 2 ticks: Revise and memorise; 3 ticks: Revise, memorise and relearn the topic). Secondly, count the number of days left from the day you'll start studying till your date of your first prelim exam (or the start of the exam month if you aren't sure). You should deduct about 2 days per week for break and unexpected school events. Thirdly, Count the number of ticks you have. Divide the number of days you have left over the number of ticks. This is to help you gauge how many days you have per 'tick'. The more ticks you have, the more time you need for that chapter, so using this formula, you can accurately calculate how many days you have per tick, and you can find out how many days you have for each chapter. [Tip: Not enough days, or prefer studying multiple subjects in one day? Multiply the number of days you have by 2 or 3, and see the next step.]
Now that you have the number of days available, each of these days will have allocated 'slots'. If you multiplied the number of days by 2 or 3, you will have 2 or 3 slots respectively. This means that you can fill up these slots with 2 or 3 subjects for the day. Fill up the slots with the chapters that you feel like studying that day on your planner, and keep the paper with the subjects (and days available for each chapter) on hand so that you can cross off the number of days needed when you slowly fill up the studying slots. I hope this makes sense!
The second thing I had to do was to deal with my A-math. My a-math was failing to the point of no return, with my highest being 13/100 during my exam, no matter how hard I tried to listen in class. If you have a subject that is like this which you can't improve in time or at all, you can drop your pure science classes, A-math classes or Mother Tongue, provided you can persuade your parents to procure a letter. Contrary to popular belief, our teachers and schools are NOT allowed to stop us from dropping a subject, so once you have your parents on your side, drop your subject with a parents letter. Your teachers in charge of that subject may want to speak with your parents about this matter as well. Beware though, try to have a minimum of 6 subjects so that you have a spare subject for your L1R5 or L1R2B2 (you never know if you suddenly want to change from a Polytechnic to a JC, so keep it at a minimum of 6 subjects nonetheless even if you have your heart set on Polytechnic)
The third thing I did was to hire a home tutor for my sciences! In my opinion, science is a hard topic to understand, especially if your grades are failing or you're a content memoriser. A good way to learn is to hire a home tutor, who has at least an A in the subjects you need and can go to your home to teach (You won't want to waste time travelling when you can study). A class tutor isn't as good as they mainly give you papers to do and teach answering techniques, which is only useful if you already understand the topic and just need revision or tips and tricks. Otherwise, a home tutor is always better than a group class.
Lastly, sign up for early application so you'll have less stress is you get selected. For Polytechnic, you can apply for EAE (Early Admission Exercise) and for Junior College you can apply for DAE (Direct Admission Exercise). Even if you don't get in, Junior College has a second round of interview and Polytechnic has DAE even if you failed to get into your course after applying with your results.
My monthly study schedule
January - February: Started planning for o-levels after freaking about about my grades
March-May: Being a professional slacker, I procrastinated until June, but studied for Chinese oral.
June: Hired a chemistry and biology tutor to help out with my worst subjects
July- exam: MUGGING EVERY SINGLE DAY (with breaks)
Intensity/ effort of studying:
Chemistry - 99%
Biology - 70%
E-Math - 20%
Chinese - 40%
English - 10%
Geography - 70%
Elective Literature - 10%
Social Studies - 20%
I use something called spaced repetition to study: This is my method of studying, actually proven useful lots of times before exams. I use this mostly for science as it's a content heavy subject that needs mostly memorising. This method is especially useful if you are failing science like me cause it forces you to start from the bottom.

  1. Do TYS MCQ (without revising or looking at answers) this is to see what information you have in your brain already, mark & circle all questions you got wrong (DO IN PENCIL)
  2. Find out which chapters are the questions you circled in, and note it down! Study those chapters and memorise all the theory and content until you are certain you can remember (Tip: make notes and diagrams for easy theory memorising)
  3. Redo TYS MCQ again (you must only do this after at least 3 days, in order to let your brain forget the information that were NOT understood or memorised properly) & mark again. You’ll get more answers right this time, but not all!
  4. Analyse the questions you got wrong this time, it’s most likely application questions at this point, those that you don't understand or did not memorise well. Consult, try to understand or memorise until you can do it right.
  5. Do Section B and repeat 4. Remember to ask around the techniques for certain questions!
  6. You’re done! Simply flip through and memorise a bit the day before the exam and you’re ready! (Yeah I actually didn’t even bother hardcore memorising because at this point all the info is ingrained in your brain)
For combined chemistry and biology, if you hired a private tutor like me, what you should do is to maximise your time spent with your tutor. Do at least 2 papers (I prefer finishing up all my MCQ papers with my tutor first, before doing the written papers which are more of application questions. This is as MCQ questions is mainly on understanding the content, which is more important as you should know the content before starting on application questions) and make a list of questions before class starts. If your tutor gets stuck, something all human beings face, simply ask them to get back to you via chat after class to stop the delay in teaching.
For E-Math, what you should do is more question papers, understand how to do complicated questions. You can leave the memorising of formulas until a few days before the exam starts.
For Chinese, I attempted to improve my vocabulary by reading Chinese books. However, this most likely didn't work as there were no significant improvements in my composition writing. I also made a list of all the keywords and good phrases for Paper 1 and 2 and memorised them, as well as learning Paper 2 answering techniques. By doing so, my Chinese improved by 3 whole grades (from C6 to a B3), so this method is effective for a quick remedy to your low grades.
For English, you should focus on speed, vocabulary and technique. Memorise the templates for Paper 1, and consult and learn the techniques for Paper 2 such as how to write a summary, 6 mark questions or keywords (ask your literature friends for a list of their 'devices' which you need for your English paper. These are alliteration, rhyming etc). Read more books to improve your vocabulary and practice a lot of papers (aim to finish at least 15 minutes lesser than the usual time given)
For Core Geography, knowledge of the content and technique is the most important than practicing or examples. If you're short on time, you should memorise the geography content and learn the the steps needed for different types of questions or essays in order to improve your score. Truth be told, even without memorising examples, an A1 is still possible! (Proof is in my grades)
For Elective Literature, use PEEEEL instead of PEEL, this will greatly help in your writing (some schools only need you to write PEEL. This means for each point, you have 2 devices, 2 evidences and 2 explanations). Make a list of keywords, book chapter titles, characters and their meanings and memorise them. As literature is only on writing, you should look at sample literature written by your teachers, and try to learn why each of these essays are superior so you can apply them to your own essay. Asking your A literature classmates also greatly helps as well!
For social studies, I made notes and memorised all the content. However, what pulled me back was the lack of practice for social studies papers, so I couldn't grasp the technique of writing. Learn from my mistake!
O-levels? Here's what happened
Getting results (13 jan)
Results: Results: 11points/ 13 net! (E1R2B2)
English - A2 Geo - A1 Science - B3 Math - B4 Chinese - B3
To those EAE students!!! Study like hell because loads of my friends (2-3) failed like ONE subject due to laziness and had their EAE revoked (one even was accepted to NP accounting, ULTRA HARD TO GET IN). I probably would have gone through the same fate. Stay safe, and study to excel!
I hope I don't sound shameless or set unrealistic expectations here, so any feedback is appreciated so I can make changes to sound more neutral? I'm a bit anxious heh Also to help you O-level peeps fully, here is a planner that mimicks how I planned during my O-level days https://limxq.wordpress.com/2021/05/31/a-level-o-level-100-day-countdown-study-planne
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